About 3 hours ago I realized how stupid I can be. Let me explain: You may know that I frequently suffer from loneliness and I dream of finding someone to love for the rest of my life...Five years ago, two guys had had a crush on me and they had told me about their feelings. I had rejected both because I like guys who are "better" than me... I am sick of being the person who are given all the control in the relationship. I want a more reciprocal relationship.
Anyways, I went abroad to study. When I returned I realized that these two guys still like me. One of them told me he wants a serious relationship with me. I was really impressed that, even after 5 years he still likes me. But knowing that I have no future with him, I told him to forget about me and find someone else. I haven't seen him again after the second rejection... about 3-4 months ago.
The second guy did not repeat telling me about his feelings probably knowing that I will reject him right away. But he asked me for a date about 6-8 times.. I reject everytime... Just like today.
I suffer from loneliness but reject those who likes me....I DESERVE LONELINESS for rejecting nice guys...I am not THAT nice to be in a relationship just because someone likes me... I probably die before finding my ideal partner.. T.T
